Why not me?

Well, it happened again. Another girl at work is pregnant. I just don't get it. She didn't even really want one. Her husband did and she just did it for him. What I think is funny is that she told our boss that it wasn't planned. Umm.. here's what I say... if you aren't using birth control of any kind, you are planning a baby at some point and time! It was so hard for me! I just broke down! I went to the bathroom and had my cry. I always ask why not me? I'm glad people don't have to go through the trouble and heartache that I have gone through trying to have a baby. But, when you really don't want another baby, don't! Don't do it just because. Make sure it's really wanted. It's just crazy. She kind of avoided me the day she told everyone (I would have avoided me too). But, she has tried to make small talk and crap. Look, just freaking talk to me. Get over yourself. Your pregnant, I'm not.. deal.. I am! That's what drives me nuts. Don't avoid me like the plague! Come on! I'm just hoping that going through IVF we get our baby (or babies). I'm so ready. I am just waiting on God to be ready for me to be a mommy. I know it's all in His time! Things happen for a reason. I know that when I get pregnant my office is going to flip and they better throw me a party! Just kidding. Not really. They better celebrate! I know I will! Anyway.

It just hurts watching people get pregnant. I deal with it. I just give it to God. That's all I can do. Through Christ all things are possible! I know God has a plan for our lives and when we get our baby. He knows he details we just have to wait and see what they are. You know you always here people say that God never gives you more than you can handle. I don't believe that. I think God gives us lots more than we can handle. Why wouldn't he? If we could handle our own stuff we wouldn't need God. So, God gives us what He gives us and we have to put our faith and trust in Him to reveal his plan in His time. I serve a loving God! My infertility has made me a stronger person and has definately made me rely on God a lot more!